to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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