Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
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You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
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Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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