whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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