So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
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A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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