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  • 60 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:30pm

    Cocaine could have prevented this situation from happening

  • 62 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:45pm

    Death is not funny, unless its the death of a clown

  • 56 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:11pm

    3:23 bt=but. Nise tri champ

  • 59 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:01pm

    Chill out guys. If this post offends you, you probably shouldn't be getting on this site anyway. It's GREAT that you don't drink and drive; I'm so proud of you.

  • 56 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:19am

    no child porn will ruin your life......DUI is but a speedbump

  • 51 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:55pm

    3:53 people like to bitch, so fuck off! im on your side, but bored so........

  • 51 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:03am

    wonder what the rules are for wheelchairs?? think they make exceptions?

  • 53 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:04am

    for making a good choice???? 10:03 you are pathetic

  • 47 48
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:05pm

    do people still call other people "emo"? Isn't that like still using myspace?

  • 49 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:18am

    I hope you get killed by a drunk driver.

  • 48 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:03pm

    (you guys whine at each other like children) While getting DUI after DUI is in no way funny or safe or encouraged, the humor in this text was to be about the fact he said to quit driving not drinking. I had a good laugh (before I read the fighting below, of course). It was a little funny. Had it read, "I've decided to quit driving, not drinking" and never mentioned anything about a DUI, you guys wouldn't be jumping all over each other. -- a fellow 623 number.

  • 50 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:53pm

    i don't understand why this is a big deal..clearly from this text this person has decided not to get dui's anymore by not driving at all...and clearly DOESNT think its cool or any of that. ya'll are bitching about a problem thats not here.

  • 50 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:38am

    hmmm, a DUI can definitely ruin your life. Hopefully your employer does not get wind of this, or next time you go to apply for a decent job with a salary, see if they hire you, or the guy/girl without a record. Probably also a good idea for this person to stop drinking, at least for a few months, to at least show some understanding for the situation.

  • 48 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:36am

    My buddy has hit a couple speed bumps!

  • 50 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:32pm

    bahahahaha i just peed a little.

  • 45 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:17am

    whoa whoa whoa, 10:18 here, i never said anyone should die, i merely inferred that they were self-mutilating, life hating, EMO kids. context clues man, context clues

  • 51 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 2:09pm

    1:33, "your" should be 'you're' in your (correct use) attempt of a sentence. Also, "tolearnce" is spelled tolerance.

  • 41 46
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 6:30pm

    You win a fools gold plated dildo that once belonged to Courtney Love. Now go fuck yourself.

  • 52 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:32pm

    3:27, I'm a sociopath. I feel no sadness, remorse, happiness, or any kind of feelings really. I see loved ones dying as no big deal, it happens. I see others dying as needed population control. I want drunk drivers to kill people just so a few more lanes will open up on the highway and I can get to work a little faster.

  • 51 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:15pm

    I are 4:1,1poynt obbviusli went ovur mi hed

  • 47 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 8:35pm

    Good on ya for staying drunk, but staying drunk off the road.

  • 48 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:07am

    people who are uptight about DUI's are lame. Learn the skill and move on

  • 49 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:57pm

    duh this is a whole website about stupid shit you do when your fucked up .. if your just gonna btich about it dont fucking read it

  • 45 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:49am

    Sorry, but maybe one DUI is understandable because we all make mistakes, but a second one is just pathetic. Pay for a cab, or a bus, or walk. What is so funny about not learning your lesson and putting random people's lives at risk simply because you are too lazy, stupid, or poor to handle it like a man/woman?

  • 48 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:54am

    you can also get a dui passed out in your car......trying to help out those in my possible path......as in my case. anywhogivesadrunkfuck, when i get rich, i'm not getting a maid or a butler. i'm getting a driver.

  • 50 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:19am

    what an idiot.. when did people start thinking dui's are like cool? way to ruin your life, jackass.

  • 48 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 5:00pm

    @10:04AM, tell me how quitting driving just to be able to drink alcohol is not pathetic? you're an idiot

  • 49 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:17am

    skinny people get DUIs

  • 47 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:17pm

    DUI's are bad. People dying is bad. Assfaces getting on their judgmental soapboxes like they have never made a mistake, ALSO bad. We all fuck up, hopefully this person learned from it and thankfully no one was hurt or killed. People's replies are turning into a vacuum of fun on this site. WTF mods? Fix this.

  • 53 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:40am

    DAMM Drunks Against Mad Mothers

  • 43 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:39pm

    Someone I love did get killed my a drunk driver so what do all of you who think DUI's are hilarious have to say about that? I was planning our wedding and in a split second I instead had to help plan a funeral. So I'm not saying people cant make mistakes. But throwing up after a night of drinking is making a mistake, and funny. DRIVING after a night of drinking IS NOT.

  • 42 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:10am

    11:09 WOW!!! wishing death on others. Real mature (thumbs up)

  • 40 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:18pm

    speline is whey ovr8ted

  • 43 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:21pm

    drunk driving is for FUCKING ASS CLOWNS. anyone who drives drunk should just kill themselves now before they do it in a car that can kill others.

  • 45 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:20pm

    Where the hell are you people from that getting MORE than one DUI means you're a retard? I'm trying to apply to grad school and I'd really like to know where not to move if this is totally acceptable behavior. Like 12:39PM said, throwing up after a night of drinking is not at all on par with driving after drinking. Everyone makes mistakes, but what the hell is wrong with you that you don't know better than to put innocent people's lives at risk?

  • 42 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:22pm

    yeah, ALMOST doesnt count! we aren't playing horseshoes, or throwing hand grenades here, or pissing in a public bathroom

  • 42 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:05pm

    By like, do you mean live? Or do you mean I'm* "like miles..."? That should be "there are" as opposed to "theres", and "taxi's" should not have an apostrophe, because it is not possessive. Also, you failed to capitalize "I" on three seperate occasions.

  • 46 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:25pm

    3:20 good job catching on to the fact that 3:13 was engaging in the witty banter.

  • 38 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:10pm

    3:05 i wuld liek to hire u to be my persinol spell checkar

  • 47 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:48am

    guy i work with did this about 30years ago and he is doin just fine...good choice buddy! if you dont wanna quit drinking, just quit driving...whats so wrong ith that??

  • 49 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 2:32pm

    Amen. shit happens. when you're blacked out TRY MAKING A GOOD DECISION. mistakes are made and dozens of people get arrested everyday in my state alone for DUIs. I personally have 2 and I'm in the whole treatment process... with 84 OTHER PEOPLE in my group... one of them is a doctor. life sucks. and for all of you that wish death on people that get DUIs I hope that drunk doctor operates on you.

  • 43 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:36pm

    I wish it did kill your best friend. That would serve you and their family right. And I'm trolling so please, respond to this and let's keep it going.

  • 47 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:18pm

    12:01, you try to chill out when some drunk asshole on the road almost kills your best friend

  • 43 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:56am

    where i live...their are no taxis or busses past 10pm....

  • 41 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:39am

    10:38 MADD's website is over there >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

  • 45 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:42pm

    There is a special place in hell for people that drink and drive... you'll be right at home

  • 42 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:39pm

    Hi I'm 12:01 and all I gotta say is I'm glad this didn't happen to me, and with that said, I have absolutely no reservations about laughing at the person who this did happen to. C'mon guys.. don't tell me it doesn't feel good to laugh at the expense of others

  • 39 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 8:22pm

    just to let the people posting on here who are taking this very seriously about how bad dui is...it will not have an impact on anyone, people will do what they do....with that said, id like to buy the sociopath a beer, and drive home with him afterwards

  • 40 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:35pm

    So? If you did a couple lines and waited ten minutes, you'd be perfect to drive, regardless of BAC

  • 40 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:33pm

    you dont have to be drunk to get a dui if your under 21 and in a state that has a zero tolearnce level you can get a dui for blowing .001.

  • 42 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:09am

    It's funny how 623 says "decided," as if still had the option, or his license.

  • 44 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:14am

    so getting a dui is horrible right...but telling someone they hope they die like 10:18 and 11:09 is really cool...??? it's supposed to be funny. way to be buzzkillingtons.

  • 39 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 25, 09 at 3:00am

    He already got the DUI guys. give it up. He's off the road. He's from AZ so he hungout in a pink suit for 30 days. let him drink his happy ass into the ground, he won't be behind the wheel for a long time. and he probably did lose his job. I'll fucking drive you to the bar. Drink the malt my friend!!

  • 37 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:50am

    10:44 because hind sight is always 20/20?

  • 43 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:37pm

    sure fire way to not get a DUI, if you are seeing triple, aim for the one in the middle

  • 35 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 2:37pm

    Oooook this is not targeted specifically at 2:09, but at all of the douche bags that feel the need to correct the grammar of everyone. My God...I'm considered the grammar nazi of everyone I know, but even I don't think it's necessary to correct everyone on a website that is about being funny. I know it makes you feel smart and superior to point out others' mistakes, but seriously, grow up.

  • 36 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:29pm

    this text was hilarious, not said acts, but THE TEXT, you people are ridiculous attacking each other

  • 39 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:28pm

    3:27, while I agree, tfln is not the place for a MADD meeting. It's supposed to be a funny site. Go away.

  • 39 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 3:23pm

    3:10, I should be capitalizied, wuld=would, liek=like, u=you (difficult, I know), persinol=personal, and checkar=checker...bt you were close, champ!

  • 43 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:12pm

    I got a DUI for sitting in my car in the apartment parking lot listening to the radio with my girlfriend. As it turns out, you can get a DUI without driving at all, you just gotta have keys in the ignition. Oh, and it didn't cause me any trouble getting a job with salary thereafter. I guess a bachelors in mechanical engineering trumps DUI charges.

  • 45 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 3:26pm

    I moved to philadelphia for that same exact reason crashing on a bike doesn't hurt nearly as much as getting the DUI

  • 38 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:44am

    My sense of humor is just as good as the next guys, but what the fuck is so funny about getting a DUI?

  • 47 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:57am

    TFLN needs better screeners for their posts. They've been sucking ass lately.

  • 36 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 9:17pm

    good, another idiot of the road. don't get me wrong, i love drunk people. they make me laugh. a lot. but driving drunk is the dumb as fuck. so i'm all for the drinking, but ya you should get yourself a DD and keep on partyin.

  • 39 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 2:43pm

    2:37, die, please. Thank you.

  • 37 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:59am

    You can also get a DUI on a bicycle! Is life harder with a stick up your ass?

  • 40 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 10:40am

    you realy should have to pass a sense of humor test to be allowed to post on here

  • 38 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 9:13pm

    good choice on the not driving.

  • 44 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 1:24pm

    1:21pm What's the point of that? Other people, innocent people should be taken out as well.

  • 42 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:18pm

    the only time a DUI is funny is when there is a midget dressed as a leprechaun behind the wheel

  • 37 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 2:54pm

    ok, i like miles from the closest bar, and where i live theres no taxi's or busses, i have basically no choice but call a friend or drive

  • 35 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:23pm

    i just lol'd for real..... I mean, i justded luld four reelz

  • 33 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 6:20pm

    93rd! What do I win?!

  • 44 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:20pm

    12:18, you said ALMOST. So chill out.

  • 37 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:57pm

    12:50, it was obviously a joke. Die.

  • 37 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:41am

    10:56, it's not their, it's there. You're (notice it's not your) probably just too dumb to realize that there (see, it's there, not their) are other modes of transportation.

  • 32 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 4:13pm

    bt tht wuz tha poiant 411

  • 35 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:58pm

    12:57, well said. Kinda like abortion, if you're just gonna bitch about it, don't do it. Hahaha

  • 33 67
    Submitted by sircohan on Jun 8, 10 at 1:04am

    So I'm reading the newspaper when I find this HORRIBlE article on the effects of drinking. It scared the crap out of me so that's it. From this day foreward. No more READING.

  • 41 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:57pm

    12:50 are you serious??? you took death is only funny if it involves a clown as me sitting on my high horse??? step off the soap box

  • 33 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:09am

    People who think DUIs are not big deal are lame. I hope someone you love is killed.

  • 35 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 11:39am

    "Anonymous said... I hope you get killed by a drunk driver. June 24, 2009 10:18AM " Uh, 11:17, you practically said word for word you hoped he would die.

  • 33 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 24, 09 at 12:50pm

    Whoooaaa 12:45, since when was this post about death? No one died... someone just got another DUI. I mean you gotta be pretty retarded to get MORE than one DUI before you quit driving (which doesn't make sense anyway since you have to at least get an interlock if you do keep driving after your first one)... don't tell me that's not funny, because even though I think it's adorable that you're sitting on your little moral highhorse, you gotta AT LEAST be chuckling a little on the inside