another moral hangover. fuck.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
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I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
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I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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