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  • Submitted by porksword on May 22, 12 at 4:03pm

    "Employee arrived at work emitting the odors of a Russian fishmonger".

    • 38 43
      Submitted by MzKitty08 on May 22, 12 at 9:16pm

      I wish we were friends porksword I could use some of your wit everyday lol

      • 29 43
        Submitted by reeln on May 24, 12 at 10:27am

        yea you just want his "wit"

        • 28 44
          Submitted by MzKitty08 on May 24, 12 at 8:22pm

          well I'm married and have a brand new baby that's about all I want at the moment

  • Submitted by FStar73 on May 22, 12 at 3:44pm

    Excessive/unhealthy aromas of coitus and libations?

  • Submitted by Phys on May 22, 12 at 4:49pm

    "Employee smells like an alcoholic whore"

  • 77 36
    Submitted by conqueror57 on May 23, 12 at 2:00am

    Ok, nunubeest, someone has to say it: you're actually sometimes pretty witty, but every time you confuse "your" and "you're" I want to punch you in the face a little. Then I thumb down all your comments. Please get a clue.

    • 33 32
      Submitted by nunubeest on May 23, 12 at 4:53am

      fair enough but truth be told I mostly use my voice typing thing because I'm too lazy to type out stuff and it does not distinguish proper spelling

    • 37 36
      Submitted by highlikekites on May 23, 12 at 1:13pm

      bammmmm

    • 33 47
      Submitted by redfaerie on May 23, 12 at 7:08pm

      GRAMMAR NAZIS: Most people type in forum-like environments like they speak, and don't use spell check. Homonyms can be tricky for some people to differentiate between.\n\nIf you still easily understood what they were saying and enjoyed the content, why would you respond rudely, thumb them down, and make violent comments?\n\nI understand the internet gives you a nice shield of anonymity, but that's no excuse for being a dick.\n\nOr maybe I just don't understand the internet.

      • 34 41
        Submitted by GA_Peach on May 23, 12 at 7:17pm

        Wow, enjoy that soap box? I normally do not correct people online, however, if we are face to face I will correct people.(only if you are directly speaking to me)

      • 29 23
        Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Jul 4, 12 at 9:30pm

        With that logic, why use English at all?

  • 79 53
    Submitted by wubbazugg on May 22, 12 at 3:54pm

    Reeking of alcohol is definitely something any employer can hit you for. Smelling like sex, on the other hand, well... That may just be jealousy.

    • 34 40
      Submitted by slammin211s on May 22, 12 at 10:35pm

      thank god my place of work didnt have some uptight supervisor near me yesterday then

    • 19 37
      Submitted by bella_amore on Aug 22, 12 at 1:50am

      I feel like this was the case on this particular morning. I arrived early, was well dressed and pretended to have it together...still a fail. The official write up stated I was "unprepared for the workplace" and "engaged in unbecoming activities."

  • 71 44
    Submitted by DonkeyLipps on May 23, 12 at 7:42am

    If we have to live in a world where one's boss can't appreciate that you got drunk, got some ass, and still made it to work on time; then this is a world I wish not to live in... Who's with me?!

  • 75 55
    Submitted by nunubeest on May 22, 12 at 3:31pm

    hygiene standards...the short of it is your a nasty unwashed pig

  • 34 34
    Submitted by openmindedchick on May 28, 12 at 8:13pm

    While you're efforts to report timely to work have unfortunately resulted in a violation of company handbook policies regarding standards of appearance. So you will need to go home (and take me with you) an report back to work tomorrow when you have cleaned up.

    • 22 36
      Submitted by bella_amore on Aug 22, 12 at 1:54am

      Hahahaha! Funny. I wasn't asked to leave but my manager attempted to have a heart to heart which was even worse. I was allotted 3 "warnings" which basically meant unlimited offenses occurring on three separate days. Make it count, right?

  • 33 37
    Submitted by ScmexyEsmeralda on May 23, 12 at 4:22pm

    LMFAO @ PorkSword

  • 39 49
    Submitted by RodFarva on May 23, 12 at 9:13am

    These pretzels are making me thirsty!

  • 46 65
    Submitted by dictatorforlife on May 22, 12 at 11:56pm

    Work in porn. You would only be written up for not smelling like sex.

  • 36 49
    Submitted by niems4158 on May 22, 12 at 11:41pm

    Employee if the month straight up.

  • 35 56
    Submitted by cfreymarc on May 22, 12 at 6:22pm

    I'd quit.

    • 27 40
      Submitted by GA_Peach on May 23, 12 at 3:55pm

      In this economy, pfft not likely.

  • 34 54
    Submitted by novakaine on May 22, 12 at 6:09pm

    I'm so proud to live in Minneapolis...

  • 35 73
    Submitted by olderthanyou on May 22, 12 at 4:30pm

    You just don't have the balls to tell your friends they said you smelled like a nasty bum and made up a story to make you feel good, nice try though

    • 24 44
      Submitted by bella_amore on Aug 22, 12 at 1:51am

      You're right, I don't have balls. I'm a girl. Nice try though!