is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize