They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
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not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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