Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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