naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize