R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize