C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize