She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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