I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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