PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize