So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
honey bunches of taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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