Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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