Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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