Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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