i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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