I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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