Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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