she looked like the bat from fern gully.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
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I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
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Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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