So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
