He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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