So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize