NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
