Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
