Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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