It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
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He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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