Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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