Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize