White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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