She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Shame - the story of my life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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