Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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