I just saw a hot homeless man
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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