yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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