Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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