A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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