started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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