if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sorry about my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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