how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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