I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
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i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
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