Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize