ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You ate ashes out of my bong
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize