How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize