so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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