His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize