you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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