My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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