i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize